Chapter 7: The Bootlegger's Medicinal

Jos stood with one hand on the doorjam and the other rubbing her eyes against the ache in the back of her skull. Pulling her hand from her face, she reached for the latch but stopped as soon as she touched the cool metal. The ache returned even stronger, and a soft groan slipped her lips.

Fractured light from the aftcastle windows sliced through the floating dust moats, but still the captain’s quarters were dim, just the way she liked it.

 Rustling came from the bed behind her. “I know a—”

“Don’t speak.” The captain held up a hand as a warning. Her own words, accompanied by the pounding footsteps of some unknown deckhand on the other side of the door, thrumbed painfully inside her head like the Mad King’s own booming laughter. “I just need…”

Jos sucked in a deep breath and mentally tried to wash away her hangover. It was a trick she’d learned years ago, back when she was young and could drink even the burliest of norn under the table. And it almost never worked.

However, the trick did usually have the effect of preparing her for the coming onslaught of light and sound. She wasn’t so sure today. As she turned the latch and cracked the door, she became certain her trick wasn’t going to suffice.

The creaking of the rigging and thumping feet on the wooden deck reached in through her ears like massive ettin fists while the blinding light stabbed into her brain through her eyeballs, even with her eyelids closed. Stale smoke from last night’s candles filled her lungs and made her stomach churn. The voices of her crew—laughing, yelling, scolding—all slammed into her. She let out another low groan and shuddered. This was not going to be a good day.

Danni called out from behind, her exceptionally shrill voice belying her diminutive asuran size. “Captain, I can—”

“Zzzt!” Jos cleared her throat. “I took the couch, and you got the bed. Don’t take what scrap of dignity I have left by chastising me about my drinking habits. I’m a grown-ass woman, and I am the captain. I think I’ve earned it.”

With that, Jos gently donned her hat, strode out into the blinding light and did her best to shove the pain to the back of her mind. No more than a dozen paces out of her cabin and she heard Nexx’s voice calling for her. 

“Captain! Captain!” He scampered over. 

She didn’t need to look at his face to know the scowled expression he wore. She’d seen it enough over the last year that he’d crewed with her. Without thinking, she stopped and started rubbing her temples.

“Captain. We are approaching the straits between Pearl and Jelako Islands.” The scorn in his voice was as evident as the white tufts on his head. “Shall I assume you want to drop anchor at the narrowest point?”

Jos considered skipping her stop, just to spite the little asura. She really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right. “Why would we stop?”

He scoffed, but before he could reply, heavy footsteps signaled another crewmate approaching. 

“So, uh…” Jorg Bitterale, her bosun, lumbered to a stop behind Nexx. “We dropping anchor?”

Jos squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed even harder. 

A third set of footsteps, these much smaller and lighter pitter-pattered up from behind. The screeching of a seagull stabbed at her eardrums until Jos thought they might bleed.

“Are we stopping?” Danni asked. “Captain, if you would—”

“All right!” Jos had had enough. She knew the only real cure for her hangover was more rum. Particularly Beltran’s black-cask mixed with a whipped skale egg, a bit of cayenne pepper and the bootlegger’s secret ingredient. That would do the trick. “Yes, when we get into position, drop the gods-damned anchor, for Melandru’s sake.”

All of the pounding feet and raucous voices vanished. Even the seagulls didn’t dare squawk. Only the lines creaking in the wind made a sound.

Jos opened her eyes and let just the barest of light through. Taking deep breaths, she stuck out her jaw and spoke through clenched teeth. “Yes, I have a hangover. And yes, I’m out of rum. So yes, we stop and get a few crates from Beltran, all right?”

Nexx straightened his back as he did his best to hide his smirk. But instead of some clever retort, he just nodded and gave her an overly contrite, “Aye aye, Captain.”

Without looking, Jos pointed a finger at Danni. “And if you open your mouth to say another word, I’ll have Jorg take a piece of rigging thread and sew your mouth shut.

Danni let out a soft, “eep” and backed away. As the others left, Jos turned and headed up onto the quarterdeck. Hiraeth’s rolling pitch from the sea and the briny breeze did little to help the captain roiling stomach, but the soft lapping of the waves below did act as a soothing focal point as she leaned over the stern railing.

Nexx’s shrill shout that the ship’s boat was ready yanked her out of a brief doze. In the distance, she heard Danni asking Nexx if she could go ashore. An extra knot twisted in Jos’s stomach as she heard her first mate grant the young asura her request. As soon as she climbed into the smaller boat alongside Nexx, Danni and Nahg, the smaller vessel jerked and was lowered to the water’s edge. Even with her eyes closed, Jos knew the others were watching her. She thought about burning everyone away with a withering gaze, but decided it wasn’t worth the sunlight searing through her eyeballs.

The ride to shore, with the ship’s boat leaping over the swells and the near-crashing onto the beach, threatened to empty Jos’s stomach. But she wasn’t about to give Nexx or Danni the satisfaction of retching over the side. Instead, she clenched her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut in order to keep her lack of a breakfast down.

A long time ago, Jos learned to become comfortable with the sensation of the floor moving beneath her feet, whether it was the deck of an airship or a water-borne vessel. She even learned to prefer it. But as soon as she stepped out of that ship’s boat and onto the packed sand, right then at that moment, she was immediately grateful for the stability of flat, unmoving ground.

Danni seemed nearly as relieved to be on dry land. She dropped to a knee and let her fingers sift through the damp sand. For the first time since stepping out of her cabin, Jos noticed the asura’s grim, green complexion. Jos let slip a slight smile as she relished her passenger’s obvious discomfort.

“Ah-hem,” Nexx over-dramatically cleared his throat. “We should probably get this over with quickly, Captain? We do have a schedule.”

Jos nodded and winced as the marbles rattled around inside her head. “Yeah.”

The trio—Nexx, Danni and Jos—made their way further up the shore, leaving Nahg to tend to the small boat. Just inside the treeline, they found a small shack made of dried mud bricks and thatch. To one side, a massive metal still hissed as a fire raged beneath it. On the other side of the shack, a strange chair sat, occupied by a large man. The chair itself was of simple wooden design, but laid back at a forty-five degree angle. As far as Jos knew, that chair was the only one of its kind. 

The man was equally unique. A big, floppy hat that looked like it was from before The Six left covered the man’s scowling face. Protruding out from beneath the hat, a long, sun-bleached beard split in two and hung down to the sandy ground. He laid there with his hands folded across his chest and, wedged into the sand beside him, a tall, ceramic cup filled with a murky liquid. 

“If yer Risen, ya best bugger off. Yer dragon-daddy’s dead and I ain’t worth yer time.” The man’s voice rumbled like an avalanche. He reached down, picked up his cup and took a small sip with a wince. “Ugh. And if yer pirates or bandits, you can stay if ya like, so long as ya don’t mind a fireball t’yer face.”

Despite her dark mood, Jos smiled. When she spoke, her voice cracked. “Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’m neither.”

The man tipped his hat up. Narrowed eyes peered out at Jos. “Well, well. Lieutenant Commander—”

“Captain!” she blurted. “Captain, will do for now. Nexx, Danni… This is Beltran the bootlegger.”

Beltran’s gaze wandered over to the two asura accompanying Jos, and he gave a slight nod. “Aye.” He let his hat fall back over his face. “I’d ask who yer companions are, but I don’t really care. So what can I do fer ya, Captain?”

Jos blinked, but her eyes stayed closed for a couple seconds longer than she expected. The brief bit of darkness gave her a moment’s relief from the blinding sunlight. Finally, she forced her eyes open. “Two things. First, I need one of you’re medicinals.”

Sand rustled as Danni took a half step forward. “Captain, I was trying to say that I—”

Jos just cut her off with a finger held up in warning.

The bootlegger arched an eyebrow. Finally, he shrugged and plucked the cup outta the sand to hold it up for her. “Take mine. It may work, but I swear th’cure is worse than th’illness. So long as I can sit here…” He tipped his hat up again and glared at her. “...unmolested, I’ll be fine without it.”

Jos took the cup and gave it a sniff. The dark liquid smelled as bad as it usually did, only maybe a bit sweeter. Well, maybe a little sugar’ll make it a bit more palatable.

She took a swig of the dark medicinal. The sour, bitter liquid was thick as it coated her tongue. Jos clenched her teeth and swallowed, not letting her nearly-overwhelming desire to vomit the drink right back up show on her face. The horrific liquid slithered down her gullet like a mouthful of ooze-slime. Still, she shook her head and tried to focus.

“See?” Beltran chuckled and shoved himself up into a straighter sitting position. “But ya didn’t come sail all this way fer that swill.”

“No. I’m here for my crates.”

The man’s scowl shattered, and he burst into a raucous, booming laughter that disappeared almost as quickly, only to be replaced with an odd mix of chuckling and groans of pain. “Ha ha, oh. Ow. Damn it. Curse you an’ yer scallywag crew fer make me laugh. Oh, haha but that is one of the funniest things I’ve heard this year.”

Beside Jos, Danni chuckled a little. The captain expected that the young asura had no idea what she was laughing at, but that she’d just been infected by the man’s amusement. Danni’s laughter evaporated with a cool glance from Jos.

Beltran’s chuckles faded, and he lifted up his hat. “Oh, wait. You’re serious?”

Jos kept her voice as dead-pan as she could. “I don’t joke about rum.”

Wood creaked as Beltran rose up into a more proper sitting position and climbed to his feet. Danni gasped. Of course, Jos knew why. The man was practically a giant. Larger than any norn she’d ever seen, Jos had never been able to determine if Beltran was norn or troll or some strange mix. She’d never asked, and didn’t plan to. Beltran’s heritage was his own business. 

Beltran leaned down and loomed over Jos. “That was three years ago. You can’t expect me to keep that kind of product on hand like that.”

“I can.” Jos lifted her head enough to look the giant right in the eyes. “And I do.”

Her free hand slipped to the pistol at her hip. Her eyes narrowed as she watched the bootlegger. She’d known him a long time, but no matter what he was still a bootlegger and a rumrunner.

Jos’s eyes when wide as her stomach spasmed. Her back straightened and she closed her eyes. “Oh no.”

Powerful cramps seized the captain’s stomach. Acid rose up in her throat, and she retched up a mouthful of bile and medicinal onto the sand. Her gut knotted up like a giant fist was twisting her innards. Her body collapsed in on itself, and she crumpled to the ground in the fetal position. In the distance, she heard a scream and realized it was her own voice. Beneath the scream, she heard people yelling. Danni picked up the spilt medicinal cup, sniffed it and jerked her head away in disgust.

Then, a faint blue light washed over Jos. Slowly the pain ebbed and faded away. From the corner of her eye she saw Danni appear above her. The asura’s tiny hands glowed blue as she waved them back and forth.

Jos just lay there and let herself be healed.

Danni’s face wore a scowl as she looked up at Beltran. “Why would you give that to her? That could have killed her!”

Beltran shrugged. “Had no idea. No one else’s had that reaction. A’course, ‘sides me I’ve only given it to the crabs and skale, but…”

Danni tisked as she did her work. As quietly as she tried to speak under her breath, Jos still heard her muttering, “Belligerent human… heal you anyway… let me get a word in…”

After a few minutes, the cramps had completely vanished. Danni pulled her hands back and gave Beltran one last glare. “Blackroot powder may make it sweeter, but it’s poisonous to humans.”

Climbing to her feet, Jos scowled at Beltran. “So, by you trying to kill me, I’ll assume you don’t have my product.”

Nexx had been standing to Jos’s left with his arms folded across his chest, but now he was a step ahead of her with his daggers drawn. 

Beltran rose up and stepped back, his gaze flicking to Nexx for a half-second. His massive hand lifted into the air and he rubbed his chin through his tangled beard. Then his face split into a wide grin and he chuckled again. “Ah, I’ve missed ya! Really am sorry for the drink.”

Jos’s scowl broke into a smile, and she held her hand out to urge Nexx to calm down. “Me too, Belly.”

“An’ don’t you worry, got just the thing for ya. Somethin’ even better then, eh? Extra spicy, a l’il less bitter. Mah new recipe!” He glanced around and amended his suggestion. “Eh… no blackroot, swears.”

As Jos followed Beltran toward the shed, she noticed that not only was her bellyache gone, but so was her hangover. She shook her head and wacked Danni on the shoulder. “You couldn’t have done that earlier?”