Chapter 20.3: The Deal

As Penny stood her guard, Skixx laid silently for a long while, listening for the sounds of sleep around him. Minkus snored like a siamoth in heat. It must have been a side effect of the elixir in his system, though the same wasn’t true for the sylvari, who slept almost silently but for the gentle sigh that seemed to accompany every few exhales. The scholar, Skixx had learned, had some odd nasal condition that caused her breath to squeak while she slept. How she managed to be so obnoxiously noisy in both wakefulness and sleep, he had no idea, but he could hear her mousy chirps just beyond the noise of the buffoon. And finally, Skixx listened for the sister. Strangely, that one had no sleeping tells. She hadn’t thus far, and she didn’t seem to tonight. She slept so silently that when Skixx opened an eye to check on her, he half expected to find her dead, or staring at him. Neither was the case. That meant it was time.

With a light yawn, Skixx rolled away from the fire, then back toward it, blinking his eyes so the human, if facing him, would see. He sat up, stretched, and looked around, rubbing at his eyes before standing up. Quietly, he moved so quietly, not just to keep the two females asleep, but also out of pure enjoyment. It had been so long since he’d done any good sneaking, the silent movement felt good, relieving, predatory; he was finally the one in power again. Skixx embraced the sensation as he slipped across the scattered grasses of the half-sandy bluff.

Penny stood, staring at the bay and completely unaware of his approach.

“Something interesting out there?” he asked from just feet away.

Penny jumped, spinning and drawing her weapons in one motion as Skixx raised his hands in surrender. “Moptop?” she yelped. “Gods alive, man. What in Torment is wrong with you?”

He looked back at the campfire, where all the figures remained asleep. “My apologies,” he said, turning to face her again. “I didn’t intend to frighten you.”

She reholstered her two pistols and exhaled, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “Well, you did. Gods. What are you doing awake?” Her voice was low again.

“It seems I’m having difficulty sleeping,” he said with a defeated shrug. “I thought perhaps you’d found something out here worthy of our nocturnal attentions.”

“Our nocturnal— Balthazar’s beard, Moptop, why can’t asura just talk like normal people?” She shook her head, but Skixx saw that small smirk returning to her face as she looked back out toward the water.

“So,” he repeated, “is there something of interest out there?”

The human shook her head, pointing down toward the beach below them. “Not unless you count crabs as interesting. The things are all over the place.”

Skixx stepped up beside her, looking down at the shore. Sure enough, there were hundreds of small creatures dotting the sand, their shells reflecting glints of moonlight as they skittered in and out of the shifting tide to hunt whatever the sea washed up for them. He snuck a quick glance up at Penny, who still gazed curiously at the beach below. Filthy joy flooded him.

“So you couldn’t sleep, huh?” she asked. “Just too damned excited to finally be going home?”

“You could say that,” he said, grinning as he continued to watch those little tidal hunters. “I am excited, but not exactly over returning home. I’m excited by everything that’s about to transpire.”

Skixx waited, not turning to her until she took the bait. For a moment he could feel her eyes on him, but she said nothing.

“Gods,” she mumbled before adopting a tone of exaggerated interest. “Gee whiz, Skixx, what’s about to transpire?”

He looked up at her with a grin that made him feel alive. She was smirking again, but that wouldn’t last long. He dove in. “Well you see, I’m going to steal those jade shards out from under that arrogant vegetable, leave you bunch of witless muddlebrains in my dust, and at long last take a roll in this world worthy of my superior intellect.”

Penny gawked, her eyes wide as she stared down stupidly into his triumphant glare.

After a few seconds, she blinked, threw her head back, and laughed. It was a only single burst of mirth before she threw her hands over her mouth to hush the sound. Her hair swaying forward with the thrust, she flopped forward, bent at the waist with her whole body convulsing silently. In another situation, such a response would have infuriated Skixx, but tonight it only made him beam more broadly. The idiot woman had no idea he had her in his grip.

“Gods, that’s good,” Penny whispered, wiping a tear away when she'd finally controlled the giggles. “I didn’t see that coming.”

“It’s not a joke,” Skixx said, crossing his arms and still smiling. “I am entirely serious.”

“Right.” She nodded, holding that sardonic tone. As she continued, she waved her arms in wide arcs. “And then you'll make your fortune selling those rocks to the highest bidder, I suppose? Maybe you’ll move into your very own floating pyramid? Everyone will call you Lord Skixx and bow to your majesty.” As she said it, grinning like a fool at her own cleverness, she bowed. When she rose, she slapped his shoulder. “You're a funny little man, Moptop.”

“No,” he replied, still wearing that knowing smile. “There may indeed be some money to make, but I have other, much greater machinations for the stones.”

Penny put her hands up in mock surrender. “Oh, do you now? By the six, let’s hear this masterful plan of yours.”

“It would be highly unwise for me to disclose that.”

The human rolled her eyes, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Fine, mister secretive, have it your way.” She leaned in, hands on knees. “But please, educate me on how you’ve planned your theft. I’d love to hear how this works.”

Stepping silently to a nearby rock, Skixx took a seat. He wiggled into a comfortable position and took a thoughtful breath. Toying with this arrogant human was all too enjoyable.

“I plan to walk over to the unconscious salad,” he began, nodding toward Ventyr. “I will reach into the inner coat-pocket where he keeps the shards and remove them.”

“Wow,” Penny snickered. “You’re a criminal mastermind. You must run Tyria’s underworld.” She turned to look up the hill toward the road before returning her attention to him. “So, what happens when Sergeant Salad wakes up with your hand in his pocket? Sounds very awkward.”

“With the tranquilizer in his system for a good few hours, he won't be waking up anytime soon.”

That gave her pause, the smirk on her face fading a bit as one eyebrow rose. “Yeah, I suppose that would do it. But, where the hell are you going to find a tranquilizer out here, you little alchemist?”

He kept his eyes locked on hers. She clearly worked to hide it, but his gaze was making her uncomfortable now. “I didn’t have to find one here,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’ve had it since my stay at the Vigil infirmary. I raided their stores when they believed me sleeping, the same way I stole a uniform and infiltrated the center of their precious Keep.”

He'd known this was where it would really become fun, but he'd underestimated exactly how fun that would be. Her insolent smirk melted into an expression of vacancy as the woman absorbed his words. Skixx stood from his rock, watching the lengthy process with impish glee.

Vacancy turned to thoughtfulness, thoughtfulness to distrust, and distrust to quiet anger. Penny’s right hand moved slowly to the holster at her hip. “Those are weird details, Moptop, and an even weirder joke.”

“I told you,” he said flatly. “Nothing about this is a joke. And I wouldn’t do that.” He nodded at the hand hovering over her pistol.

Penny held her hand where it was, her face ice. “Why the hell not? I’m on guard. Seems to me this is my gods-damned job.”

Skixx shook his head. “This isn’t your job,” he said. “Your job is operating that pathetic, beloved machine-shop of yours.” The coldness in her face warmed rapidly back into anger.

“I don’t know what your game is,” she hissed, “but I’d call it off quick, little man.”

Neither moved. Penny stood still, her hand above the gun and waiting for its command to draw and fire. Skixx made no moves, either toward or away from her, but he also made no effort to still himself like she had. He shifted his weight, looking the human up and down as he continued to assess her state. Angry? Yes. Prepared to shoot him? Perhaps, though the odds were low. Unwilling to hear him out? Not yet, not at all.

“Yes, Arkayd,” he said, taking a slow step toward her, “you could draw your weapon and end me here, but there’s much too much at stake for you to do that.”

“What in Grenth’s green ass are you talking about?” she barked.

Skixx looked away at the sea again. He took in the glow of moonlight off the water and hoped that same bright gleam was reflecting from his eyes. He certainly felt a gleam in them. “You recall our conversations about my partner and a forthcoming business opportunity we were engaged in?” He waved a hand. “The pigeons I kept sending at all our stops?”

“Sure. What of it?”

“Well,” Skixx said, shrugging casually, “our latest purchase was a complete success. We’re now the proud owners of real estate.”

“How wonderful for you,” she mocked, taking a half step back and letting her hand fall an inch closer to the weapon. “What’s that to me?” Her eyes flitted to those sleeping at the camp and back to him.

Skixx waved his hand and continued his train of thought. “I understand the seller was quite amicable. Our offer was certainly in our favor, but Mr. Witten was not treated unfairly—not entirely.” At the sound of that name, Skixx watched Penny’s face tense further. He went on. “What was his name again? Martin? Monty? Ah yes, Maurice! Maurice Witten, a Krytan. Perhaps you know him? He owns—or rather used to own—a diminutive but lucrative piece of property on the west side of Divinity’s Reach.”

Penny nodded vigorously. “Right,” she said, the sassy smirk returning to her face and mixing with her anger. “You and your ‘partner’ up and bought my shop. And I’m the lost queen of the charr! How stupid do you think I am, you snotty, little shit? You knowing Maurice’s name means nothing. It definitely doesn’t mean what you’re trying to imply.”

He clicked his tongue at her, smiling all the wider. “Arkayd, it’s precisely that wariness I had to prepare for. You’re a tough circuit to short. Simple deception couldn’t have done it, which is why we needed to do this for real. And Wepp said it wasn’t necessary.” He paused, changing gears at a speed he believed she could keep up with. “Your shop is in a prime location, really: just outside the capital gardens on the Melandru High Road. Witten wanted three-hundred gold for it, fifty more than he’d offered you, as my partner reported to me, but we talked him down—we have convincing ways of changing people’s minds. I was told the building is filled with some crude artifacts of human technology, ” he put specific derision on that word, “including your designs for that odd backpack of yours and a singing bird on the door that my muddleheaded partner found interesting—idiot. Upstairs seems to be where you reside, rather simply, he informed me. There wasn’t anything there but some clothes and a handful of odd children’s trink—“ Her open hand struck him so fast, Skixx saw nothing but the flashes of color that blazed across his eyelids.

Skixx shook his head, looking back at her again as she came into focus. Rage and thrill blossomed inside him. Penny stared, her mouth quivering.

“So what?” she finally said through straight lips. “You think I’m just going roll over and do what you say because you threaten to take away my shop?” Her left hand shot out at him again, but this time it was an accusatory finger. “Well, you can stuff it. Kick me out if you want, but I’ll go to Torment before I let you push me around with—“

“You misunderstand,” Skixx interrupted in a tone dripping with rancid honey. “This isn’t blackmail. It’s bribery.”

“Excuse me?” Penny demanded.

“Alchemy, Arkayd,” Skixx moaned, putting a hand to his forehead, “Do I have to spell out everything? Bribery is a manner of manipulation founded on mutual benefit rather than—”

“Shut up, Skixx. I know what bribery is.”

The asura’s hands went to his hips. He feigned a sigh of relief. “Excelsior. I’m unsure how long I could have  maintained my composure if you forced me to—”

“I said shut up,” Penny ordered.

“So,” Skixx began again, shifting, “you don’t want to own that building on the Melandru High Road then?”

“Own it?” Penny laughed derisively. “Are you kidding me? If you’ve bought the damn place—”

She stopped. Skixx watched again as the pieces came together in her head. It never stopped amazing him how slowly that happened for humans. It was one of so many reasons he hated that wretched city.

“Congratulations,” he said, tiring of the act. He let every ounce of mockery come out. “Your tiny human brain has figured it out. If we own your shop, and you aid me, you can own your shop, because we can give it to you.” He extended his hands in offering to her, gesturing his meaning.

Her eyes drifted to the camp, and Skixx turned to follow her gaze. Was her attention on the sylvari or the imbecile asura? It was unclear, but it didn’t matter.  Skixx looked back at the woman, at the guns on her hips. How easy it would be right now to snatch one, kill the human, and then kill the other four. But no, that wasn’t an option.

“Any one of them would do the same if they got an offer this profitable,” Skixx chided. Penny looked back to him, her face all but blank. “Think about the service I’m offering you, Arkayd. You were ready to work for the Vigil, those blockheaded soldiers, for the foreseeable future, merely for the chance at one day buying that land from Witten, maybe. Now you can skip all that. My gift to you for your help.”

“I don’t think that’s how gifts work,” she said plainly. “But I don’t see what you want from me. You already have your brilliant plan, don’t you? I assume Ventyr is under the effect of whatever you gave him?”

“He is.”

“So,” Penny said, finally pulling her hand away from the weapon. She crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you just take the damn things?”

Skixx sighed, shaking his head. He gazed up at her from beneath his brow and his wild mass of crimson hair. “Oh, you stupid bookah.” He worked as much condescension as he could into each word. “I’ve worked this long to establish a cover they won’t trace back to me or anyone I’m working for. I can’t spoil that now. What I need is someone else to draw their attention away.”

“You need a stooge,” she growled.

“Yes,” he agreed. “I need someone—you—to disappear tonight as though you’d robbed the vigilman. Maybe they’ll hunt you, but it’s highly unlikely. Those shards have already played their role in the soldier’s machinations. They aren’t valuable to anyone but that obnoxious scholar now.”

Defiance rose suddenly in eyes. “And what’s to stop me from waking everyone and putting bullets in your legs right now?”

Skixx took a deep, exasperated breath and crossed his arms, sitting back on his rock. “Do that and you’ll never see your shop or any of its contents again. I thought that was clear. Unless you return to Wepp with the proper passphrase in a set number of days, we’ll incinerate it all.” He let the words hang in the air for a moment, passing slowly into that brain of hers. “I’m playing the bribery game right now, but I like blackmail so much more.”

The human breathed deeply, sweeping her hair behind her ear again. With a rapid glance to the camp and back again, she scowled at Skixx and buttoned her long coat closed over the pistols at her hips.

Skixx eyed her, waiting for what he knew was inevitable. “This isn’t the first shrewd deal you’ve made in your life, Arkayd.”

Penny shook her head, turning her gaze again to the beach, to those tiny bits of moonlight skittering in and out of the tide and grabbing at what washed up. “No, it’s not,” she said. “I do what I have to to keep what’s mine.”