Why Do We Keep Fighting?

By Poliatore

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Today's guest writer is Pablo (also known as the Poliatore in the Guild Wars 2 community). Pablo is an aspiring writer and member of the CoT team. You can read some of Pablo's work here.

You can find out more about Pablo on

Twitter: @Poliatore

This story was published for our Summer of Short Stories (2019) event.

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I’ve been lucky enough to live through every major disaster from the last seven years: Zhaitan, Scarlet, Mordremoth, the White Mantle, Balthazar, Joko and—now—Kralkatorrik. After all the sacrifices and loses we’ve endured, my mind raises a question. Why do we keep fighting?

Nala fought alongside Dragon’s Watch in their desperate attempt to kill Kralkatorrik inside the Auditorium. They failed, and the dragon escaped. For the first time, she heard from the Commander—three words she would never forget—. When they asked him what they’d do next, “I don’t know.” After the fight, feeling defeated and restless, she decided she’d pay a visit to the place she met Trahearne—the person she looked up to the most.

Zhaitan’s lingering influence could still be felt in Orr, but the landscape was less threatening than seven years ago. The path leading to the Artesian Waters was being treated with care: it was now a place of pilgrimage in memory of the battles against the elder dragon. When Nala arrived, an asura was kneeling before the source of water quietly praying. She sat next to her and placed the bouquet of flowers.

I hope these make the place a little more alive, as you’d want.

“Those are beautiful,” the asura whispered while looking at the flowers. “Are these for someone, madam?” she asked smiling and showing her wrinkles without embarrassment.

 “I come here once in a while to honor the former Marshall of the Pact,” she answered. She stared into the water, remembering past times. “It was here I first gathered the courage to talk to him.”

“I’m so grateful for everything he did for us. All this life couldn’t have been possible without him or the brave warriors like you who fought with him.” There was a distinct sparkle in the asura’s eyes.

“Yes, I am too. He was an excellent teacher as well.” She sighed when the memories started to come back to her. “And why are you here? This place is still dangerous if you’re unprepared,” she said concerned for the woman.

“The foes that remain are just mindless minions, any illusion can fool them. Remember, we’ve all been through hardships,” the asura said, disappearing in a burst of butterflies. Nala didn’t feel threatened at the irony of the situation. She’d been tricked.

“Hah, am I a mindless minion as well?” she asked, looking around for the asura.

“You’re not, but you should be more thoughtful of your surroundings,” she answered. Nala located the asura walking out—in plain sight—waving goodbye.

When I look at it more closely, this place turned out gorgeous, brimming with a newfound life. I should get moving. Nala packed her things, gave the room a final glance, and left.

Her next destination was Lion’s Arch. She planned to meet up with a friend that helped her prepare for the most serious threats she has ever faced as part of the Pact. The city was as noisy as always. The streets were full of people either chatting or stopping by a merchant stand, while the lionguards stood watch and protected the city.

No newcomers could’ve guessedthe city was destroyed just five years ago. Even after everything that had happened, people and merchants were thriving here. Nala was lost in thought while she approached her destination—Caddock’s bookstall.

“Welcome home, dear friend.” He treated his stand with care, placing each book purposefully. They were of all kinds: art, history, literature, essays… everything you’d imagine. There was not a speck of dust on them. “Why the long face?” he said, offering a humble and short chair to sit on.

“You always keep up with the news. You must know already,” she answered.

“I know what the rumors say, but it interests me more what you say, Nala.”

“We failed, Caddock. We tried to slay Kralkatorrik, but we failed miserably. The dragon killed our only hope to contain the burst of magic and left. He’s alive, and soon we won’t be. Why should we keep fighting when everything’s hopeless? I think it’s over. These last seven years have been worthless.” She finally let out her frustration. There was no sadness nor anger, just incomprehension.

“I’ve thought about that too as I age,” he said. He stood up and searched briefly through his books before pulling out a plain-looking one. “Some years ago, when Lion’s Arch was destroyed, and I lost everything, I asked myself the same question.”

“But you’ve recovered quickly, haven’t you?”

“I’ve always found refuge in my books. I found this one among the rubble left after the fight. It was a pile of papers, without an author nor an end. I tidied the pages up and gave them the form of a book,” he explained. “It was titled Will. A basic but strong notion that helped me rebuild my life. I was afraid this new business wouldn’t be good, but I’ve realized I’m not the only one that finds refuge in books.”

Is it will that drives people to keep moving on? Or is it faith? Does any of this makes sense when I know that the world is going to end soon? But here I am, searching for any kind of answer.

“Thank you, Caddock,” she said. She took his hands in hers. “I really mean it.” She stood up and paused for a moment.

“Wait, aren’t you bringing the book with you?” he asked, confused.

She started walking away. “I will come back once I’ve sorted out some things on my own,” she answered. She turned back and noticed the immaculate books and how orderly they were placed, decorated with blue irises. “By the way, your bookstall looks gorgeous today. Take care, Caddock. I’ll be back soon.” Caddock smiled at the compliment.

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Caddock resisted the call of Mordremoth, but his brother Kodack wasn’t as lucky. He was a powerful sylvari with a strong sense of justice and companionship. He’d do whatever it took to protect any other person regardless of race. However, one day we woke up and found his body lying on the ground, transformed into a gruesome, lifeless beast.

She stepped up the pace through Verdant Brink and arrived in Auric Basin—where they buried the young sylvari. She looked at her surroundings, and the memories of the tragedy slowly came back. The Maguuma Jungle was recovering its primitive nature but, as happened in Orr, the ancient dragon’s influence was still present. Mordrem minions and vines still lurked the area.

Nala was one of the few survivors of the Pact fleet crash. She thought herself dead more times than she could count on her hands. She was determined to follow the Commander and slay the dragon—so was Kodack.

That meant they needed to set a frenetic pace against nature itself, as if they were rushing to their deaths. Many of their companions had died in their trek through the jungle: the Mordrem, diseases they never suffered from before, starvation when supplies were low and despair.

She walked through the jungle—lost in thought. She knew the place like the back of her hand, and she didn’t feel as threatened as the first time she went there. She thought she’d be strong enough to suppress the intense feelings the massacre left on her, but the memories of death and hopelessness still lingered. In the end, only four years had passed.

When she arrived in Tarir she was greeted by the Exalted. After a small exchange, she walked towards the northwest corner of the central plaza. On her previous visit through the city, she had planted a patch of flowers in honor of Caddock’s lost brother—her companion.

Blue iris. I never noticed, but he always decorated his stand with this type of flower, Nala thought, kneeling before the grave. A piece of paper was laying on the ground. ‘Through his sacrifice, he gave Tyria one more chance. He preserved the spark of hope’.

“Why do you look so down, Nala?” a voice asked. Although her eyes were closed, she recognized the voice.

“Why shouldn’t I? The world will end soon anyways,” she replied. A teardrop ran down her cheek. “Why… How can you be here?” Her voice trembled, and she refused to open her eyes and see him. What if he’s that monster?

“Kralkatorrik has been ravaging the Mists. I’m guessing the instabilities allowed me to come back here,” he said. He sat down in front of her. “He’s the cause of your despair, am I right?”

“The dragon killed Aurene, and she was our last hope. Without her, we cannot kill Kralkatorrik.” Her voice was firmer, and she retained the tears, though she still didn’t open her eyes. “I’m really trying to find a reason to fight against the impossible.”

“Should there be a reason?” he asked with a smile. “And, you know, there’s no reason to keep your eyes shut, either.”

She opened her eyes and found the ghostly body of her friend, as he appeared before his corruption. “What do you mean?” she asked back.

“In the days leading up to my death, I was slowly ostracized from the group as the news of my people turning against our allies spread. They feared me; do you remember?”

“Of course; I had to convince them to keep you with us every time. It was infuriating, really,” she answered. She felt like she knew what he meant with this. “Even though you had no reason to help them, you kept protecting us.”

“When that night came, I couldn’t sleep and I decided to take a little walk nearby and stand watch. I caught a raid of Mordrem approaching our location; and jumped them.” He stopped and sighed, giving Nala some time to process the information.

“You did what? You are so reckless. Why?” She sounded concerned, even when there was nothing she could do about it.

He smiled. “I’m happy to see that you haven’t changed inside,” he looked at the flower. “These were my favorites. I was told they symbolize hope.” He remained silent for a moment. “I couldn’t do anything against the MordremI was left bleeding to death.”

“And that’s when it happened,” she added. This explains why we found him turned into a monster.

“Mordremoth’s voice resonated inside my head. ‘Be one of us, I’ll give you strength,’ he told me. I accepted without hesitation. There was a loud noise inside my head, but I only focused on one thing: to kill those Mordrem that wanted to attack you. I don’t know why I did it, nor how.” He stood up and looked at Nala. “Take care, my friend. I hope we can see each other again.”

“Thank you, Kodack.” Both of them smiled, and she watched him carefully one last time before he vanished.

I’ll always be in your debt. You protected us even when it was impossible for you to act of your own free will. Your will to save our lives was that strong. Without a reason—just by pure will—you defied the inevitable, and you won.

While shewas repeating the words of her friend in her head in search of answers, Nala decidedto leave the Maguuma Jungle behind and head to Divinity’s Reach. She would findsome blue irises to carry with her.

Everything still feels hopeless. I was looking for a reason to keep fighting,but is there really a need for a reason? Maybe we must keep fighting. Butwithout a reason it’s so difficult to be willing to fight.

The citystreets were quite alive, plenty of people were buying fruits and vegetablesfrom the food stands, talking to each other, laughing, and gossiping. Shebought an apple from the stand with the shiniest fruits in the city andcongratulated the woman who owned the business.

“Oh, thankyou so much,” she blushed. “Can I help you with anything else?”

Sheapproached the woman and sat next to her. “Actually, yes. Do you know where Ican buy some flowers?” she asked. “More specifically, a blue iris.” She took abite of the apple and was delighted by the flavor. “This tastes awesome.”

“They arenot common, and I don’t think anyone here sells them, I’m sorry,” she lamented.“I’m glad you like the flavor. I try to treat them with care.”

Nala tookanother bite and stood silent for a couple of minutes while the owner attendedother clients. The sweet juices from the apple helped her digest better whatCaddock and Kodack had really meant.

“I’m Nala,”she said.

“Why areyou staying, miss?” the woman asked. “I’m not disturbed by your presence, but…”she whispered something low enough Nala couldn’t hear.

“I likethis place. So much has happened in recent years,” answered Nala. “I admire howyou are able to treat everyone so kindly in the midst of all our problems.”

“There is alot of people who were let down by the White Mantle and the Gods. Many peoplesaw that their faith was in vain. I won’t lie, I’ve suffered too, but I decidedthat people needed someone to lighten their mood.”

Nalalowered her head. “Why would you do that?”

“There’s noparticular reason. I—I like it this way, if that makes sense?” she answered.She was a little surprised when she saw the big smile her answer brought toNala’s face. “Did I say something funny?”

“Not atall. You’ve been a huge help, really,” Nala replied. She got up and dusted offher trousers. “I’ll make sure to come back!” She waved goodbye and turnedaround to keep searching for the flowers.

“Wait,” thewoman said, grabbing Nala by the hand. “My name is Theora. I hope to see youagain, Nala.” Nala’s face turned red and nodded with a nervous smile that spreadto Theora as well. She let her go and gave her another apple. “Goodbye,” shesaid, waving.

She walked aimlesslyaround the city, paying no attention whatsoever to the hustle in the streets. Why am I still grinning like an idiot?she thought, holding the apple tightly. Maybenot everything needs a reason. She stopped in place and gave up on theflower for the moment.

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She tookthe first airship to the Crystal Oasis, where her friend Salim lived as a cookfor the many people affected by the recent battle. Despite Balthazar and Palawa Joko’s defeat, we couldn’t stop thedestruction they brought to Elona before falling. I’d like to see if they haveprogressed since then, though.

When shearrived to the Free City of Amnoon she was surprised by how much the city hadimproved since the last attack from Kralkatorrik. The pace was quicker than thatof Lion’s Arch reconstruction. However, there were still plenty of tents in thecity for the many refugees coming from all parts of Elona.

She headedtowards the Amnoon Civic Center, where the main kitchen of the city was locatedand people of all backgrounds attended to: nobles, citizens, travelers andrefugees. Salim was one of the apprentice chefs who served Nala and hercompanions when they first passed through Amnoon. They met him while theCommander negotiated their next course of action with Chief Councilor Imann.

When theyfirst met two years ago, something connected both of them. He’d often servefood to kids and to the refugees most in need before anyone else. That type ofkindness got through her. She didn’t mind waiting and often times she’d lendhim a hand, which was very much needed.

“Hellothere, Salim!” Nala shouted, waiting at the kitchen’s door. “Do you have aminute?”

Uponhearing her voice, the man rushed to the door and hugged her. “What are youdoing here? I thought you were somewhere else fighting off Kralkatorrik,” he said,concerned by her visit. “Come with me,” he added, dragging her towards the littlecafé. They ordered elonian tea and sat down on the cushions.

“How arethings going here? I’m glad you are recovering quickly,” she said. However, shecouldn’t look at him in the eyes since she felt ashamed to come back withreally bad news. She felt like her friend didn’t know the defeat againstKralkatorrik yet.

“Yeah,we’re building more homes and the number of refugees has stabilized,” heanswered with a proud smile. “It’s a good thing that you were there for thefight against Balthazar, and Joko. But I bet you don’t bring good news.”

“You areright. We failed to defeat Kralkatorrik,” she replied.

“What areyou waiting for then? Go get the dragon!” he said excitedly.

“I wish wecould, but we really failed, Salim. Aurene was killed in the last fight andwithout her to absorb the magic—we can’t kill it,” she said. She abandoned herusual self and let her emotions out. However, the man didn’t stop smiling. “Youknow, even the Commander didn’t know what to do. We’ve been fighting the lastseven years, we never stop and the only thing I’m doing is asking myself why wekeep fighting. I’ve been traveling through some familiar places across Tyria tryingto come up with an answer, but I have been unable to.” She still didn’t fullyunderstand what Caddock and his brother meant.

“I know,right? There’s never a reason to keep going when you know that something willhappen soon anyways,” he said, trying to tease her.

“I feeltired and hopeless, Salim,” she confessed.

“We don’tneed a reason, Nala. Even if everything seems lost, we just keep going. It isour will to protect our loved ones that drives us to keep fighting, be it againstdragons or against poverty and hunger. To fight for someone’s life, even ifit’s impossible to win, should be reason enough, don’t you think?” He put hisarms around her shoulders. “Don’t you?”

She let thetears drop down her cheeks. Why is he socalm when I told him it’s hopeless? she thought. As she finally vented offher feelings, she started to piece everything in her mind. I was a homeless kid who never knew her parents. I joined the Pactbecause finally some people recognized me and cared about me. And that wasenough to keep on living. Maybe thisis my “Will”, huh? Everyone I’ve talked to have lost a lot, Kodack even hislife, but they never needed a reason, they had the will to keep going.

“I-I think—I think I have it now,” she said between sobs.

“That’s great, Nala. Also, I have a quick question about Aurene,” hesaid, trying to carefully phrase his words.

She calmed down and came back to her usual self. “Tell me, what is it?”she asked, curious about what would he ask.

“Didn’t Aurene kill Joko by… eating him?” he asked.

“Yes, I’ve heard so,” she answered, confused by the unrelated question.

“And wasn’t Joko thought to be immortal?”

“Ah-huh.”

“If Aurene could eat his magic—”

“Oh, no, you don’t mean…” she replied incredulously. She finished heruntouched tea quickly. “I need to go, thank you Salim,” she said while gettingup and readying to leave.

“Go for it, girl!” he said while waving at her. “Be safe,” hewhispered.

She stopped for a moment in front of the Chief Councilor Office andnoticed the wall had many flowers, one of which was an autochthonous species ofthe blue iris. She grabbed two. Kodack, she thought and smiled toherself.

She took the communicator device from her pocket. “Guys, quickly,inform the Commander that Aurene might not be dead.” She hurried to the airshipdirected to Lion’s Arch. “She might have survived thanks to Joko’s magic!”

“Yes, we know. We have been told just some minutes ago that she reallysurvived! We feel like idiots for not noticing sooner,” a voice said throughthe device. “We’re preparing an airship and waiting for further orders. Westill have a fight on our hands.”

“I’ll be there in a few hours. See you then,” she said, hanging up the communication. She smiled and felt relieved. Not only did hope return, but she had a newfound determination to keep fighting to protect the people she loved.

A few days later, two merchants received a special letter in the sameday. One was the owner of a book stand in Lion’s Arch. The other was the ownerof a fruit stand in Divinity’s Reach.

The first letter read: “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, myfriend. I’ll be back for a visit soon but, for now, I’m off to another battle.Hope is not lost, and I found my Will, thanks to you.”

The latter read: “I’m afraid I won’t be able to visit you as soon asI’d like. I never told you, but I’m part of the Pact. When I’m back from thismission I hope we can eat together one of your delicious apples.”

Both letters had a beautiful blue flower accompanying them. The stallowners proudly displayed their flower on the front of their stand. I knowyou will come back safely, they thought.