The Eternal Blade Saga Book 2, Chapter 39: Dissociation

*Please note this chapter is back to Nienna's POV*

I was content floating in the peacefulvoid the blade’s power provided me while it took charge. It was quiet, thesounds of battle muffled and distant. There was an overwhelming sense of reliefbeing a mere passenger for once and having someone-something else take the lead. I relished the weight of responsibilityno longer on my shoulders. I reveled in the lack of guilt in my heart. Theshadow took it all.

As the blade’s energy took full form,presenting herself to the world as a reflection of myself, I looked down at myfriends. Their faces were twisted in confusion and fear as they regarded thisform. It wasn’t their fault; they didn’t understand. They would see, though,when everything was said and done. They would see how much it was needed. I leanedfurther into the dark and closed my eyes, giving my shadow-self my thoughts, myvoice, my body—whatever was needed to destroy our enemies. I offered it all upand settled into my cocoon as I uttered a sigh of relief.

I’m not sure how much time had gone bywhen a surge of light suddenly invaded the void and disrupted the peacefulnessinside. The bright white illumination assaulted every one of my senses,blinding me and filling my ears with a high-pitched ringing that didn’t cease.The scent of something burning filled my nostrils, and something soft, likefeathers, briefly brushed my cheeks. It was an odd mix of sensations. I beggedmy shadow-self to make it all go away, however, even she struggled against theassault from our unidentified attacker.

Peering through my squinted eye lids,I fought to see beyond the bright light. It flooded my vision, and I could seenothing but white. I could feel the anguish my shadow-self felt in the face ofour attacker as she struggled alongside me. If I could determine the source, Ihad a chance at making it stop. I tried to let my eyes adjust to theoverwhelming light, but they hurt from being open only a short while. I forced themto stay open. I needed to see.

I eventually started to make out a dark outline of something—a human form. Despite their assault, there was something warm and familiar about them. I knew who they were, but I couldn’t remember who they were. I reached out to touch them, to make contact. Instead of touching something soft, like skin, my fingers curled around the wooden cylinder of the scythe’s snath. I had only succeeded in reaching through the forefront of my shadow-self, but it brought me face to face with the source of the light and suffering.

It was Seren, and she was holding ontothe blade with her own bare hands.

The young guardian was strong, and she stood her ground against the blade’s dark energy. Her ability to hold on without being completely consumed told me everything I needed to know: my family’s blood ran through her veins. After all, only Valars were able to touch the blade without serious threat to their life, and it was Grenth’s blood ward that made it so. It shielded us from the totality of its power, making it possible for us to be near it, to hold it when necessary during our lifelong duty to guard it.

Elated by this discovery, I reached overto try to touch Seren’s hand, but my shadow-self regained control, pushing backthe light, and sent the young guardian back onto the ground. The light faded,as did the pain and the noise, and the peaceful dark came creeping back in. Apart of me wanted to lean back into the shadows, but I began to wonder if I hadgiven the blade too much control.

“No!” I scolded my shadow-self,grabbing onto the blade with both hands as firmly as I could, but I was thrownback into the void.

“SHEWAS HURTING US.”

The words thundered in my ears, and Ireflexively pressed my hands over the sides of my head to try to shut the noiseout. “You’re not supposed to harm anyone innocent. That’s the deal.”

“HOWCAN YOU CLAIM THEIR INNOCENCE IF THEY MOVE TO ATTACK US FIRST?”

“Have you seen yourself? I can imagine they feel threatened,” I hurriedly explained, “and were just trying to defend themselves. You can’t blame them for that.”

“YESI CAN. YOU HANDED CONTROL OVER TO ME.”

“To judge the guilty, not to harm theinnocent!”

“THATIS EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING. I CANNOTBE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN STUPIDITY CAUSING THEM TO GET IN MY WAY.”

My shadow-self moved quickly to blockan incoming blow from an attacking Inquest, and then dispatched him byseparating his head from his shoulders. I felt an odd mix of shock andsatisfaction as I watched his life leave him. The asura’s large, blue eyes grewdull and empty, and his shell of a body tumbled to the ground. Dark red bloodsoaked into the dirt and ash, and ribbons of his life force coiled around thescythe’s curved blade before becoming wholly consumed by the weapon.

The asura’s death stoked the fires ofbattle, and our enemies came rushing inward. Inquest Golems aimed their cannonsinto the courtyard, their weapons whirring as they charged to fire. I panickedand tried to reach out to my counterpart to help my friends who now foundthemselves in the middle of the battle. When I had handed over control to theblade, I was content on being a complicit passenger. I trusted the blade to destroyour enemies. But after seeing its questionable aggression against my ownfriends, who I myself had already declared innocent, I couldn’t help but wonderif I had bitten off more than I could chew.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the shadowcocooned me once again like a comforting blanket. Whispers wormed their wayinto my ears, assuring me everything would be fine, and the urge to simplybecome the passenger again tempted me. However, the trust I originally had inthe blade’s power had started to diminish, and I couldn’t let it continueunchecked. The blade had grown indiscriminate, and whomever got in its way wasan enemy. I fought to course-correct each swing of the blade that came evenremotely close to my friends, making sure it never hit any of them. The resultwas a rather disjointed display of movement, but it kept my friends out ofharm’s way—at least for now. What once had become a partnership had nowdevolved into a dissociation.

“This wasn’t what we agreed,” I warned,watching her swing the blade down toward a norn with his hammer primed tostrike. Tuborg had already positioned himself to intercept the attacker, unawareof the deadly weapon above. Reaching through the veil of shadow in front of me,I fought for control, even if it was only for a brief moment. It was all Ineeded. My hands curled around the snath of the blade, and I pulled it to theside. The weapon cut into the norn’s arm, nearly severing it, and missingTuborg by mere inches.

The shadow rumbled again all around me,like thunder during a violent storm. My defiant behavior had obviously angeredher. Ripples emerged across the dark in front of me as a face emerged. Therewas a familiarity in the curve of the chin and the dramatic angle of theeyebrows. It was my face staring right back at me: its visage twisted in angeras her mouth opened to speak.

“THISIS EXACTLY WHAT WE AGREED TO. YOU WANTED JUSTICE. YOU WANTED THE GUILTY TO PAY.THIS IS WHAT I AM GIVING YOU. I CANNOT HELP WHO STANDS IN THE WAY OF THAT GOAL.”

I didn’t even have a chance to reply.My counterpart’s face disappeared, and I could feel her focus turn back to thefight. With a wave of her hand, she expelled a wave of dark energy, causingfear and chaos to run rampant amongst the courtyard. Inquest and hired fightersalike temporarily abandoned their positions in an attempt to flee the dreadthat blanketed them, but they found no solace until enough time had passed forthe curse to wear off. A callous laugh broke out all around me and filled thecourtyard with its haunting sound. She raised the blade up, set to bring itdown on a few Inquest who were able to quickly break through the curse and bravedthe front lines of battle to have a chance to trade blows with Clarkus. The mightycharr roared and met them all head on with fangs bared and his sword at theready.

As the blade sailed downward, Ireached through the shadow again and grabbed hold of the weapon, altering itstrajectory enough that the edge merely grazed the charr’s thick, striped armbefore the sharp point buried deep into two of the asura, skewering themtogether. Clarkus uttered a warning snarl through clenched teeth as he lookedup at my shadow-self, and then ran his blade through the third Inquest. Hejerked the bloodied sword out and raised it to block an incoming axe blade wieldedby a darkly clad rogue. Drops of blood splattered onto his face upon impact,dotting his brown and black striped fur.

The shadow erupted all around me in turbulentwaves as the blade’s energy fought to take back control from me. Its strikesgrew wild, as did its rage. We battled for control amongst ourselves while thefight continued on outside the void. I pulled each time she thrashed, and whenI finally had my hands both firmly on the scythe, my shadow-self pulled us downinto the ground in an attempt to shake me off. It worked, and the sudden shiftin movement threw me back into the void once again. Shortly after, we surfacedagain in a different area of the courtyard. The movement left me disoriented,but it did not shake my determination to regain control. My heart may have beenin the right place when I decided to use the blade to save my friends, but mymistake had been trusting completely in its power.

A flash of red sailed through the airand struck my shadow-self in the back of her shoulder. It had as much effect asa pebble breaking against a reinforced stone wall, but the audacity of it stillangered her. She spun around, swinging the blade through the air in a wide arcand burying it in the rounded top of the machine. She yanked it back out withease and the Inquest golem’s red lights flickered before finally going dark.Its owner, a small Inquest asura, ran to her golem’s side, threw her helm tothe ground, and kicked the heap of metal, uttering a sharp curse.

I felt my counterpart’s delight at thevulnerability of her next victim as she looked down at the frustrated golemancer,and she raised the blade once again. However, she wasn’t the only one who hadseen the opportunity. Alena had spied the easy target and was rushing in withher minions to take her out. I clawed my way through the shadow, scrambling toregain control of the blade again as Alena came within range of the strike. Myfingertips touched the wooden cylinder, but before I could get ahold of it, myshadow-self pulled it out of reach. Thankfully. the pressure I was able to pushagainst the weapon altered the blade’s course just enough to keep Alena out ofharm’s way as it entered the Inquest’s chest.

Alena stumbled back, wide-eye as shestared up at the deadly weapon that came so close to killing her. But with herattention focused above, she didn’t see the darkly-clad swordsman sneaking upbehind her. I had to warn her. Taking in a lungful of air, I yelled her name asloud as I could, hoping to get her attention. She started to turn toward me,but movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention, and she brought upher staff to block the oncoming attack. The swordsman’s blade cut through thewood and it splintered everywhere. Alena shrieked and commanded her minions toprotect her, and they rushed to her side to defend their mistress.

I thrust myself forward, taking holdof the blade and pulled it back toward me as hard as I could, but mycounterpart was not about to give up control. The divine weapon waved wildly inthe air as she and I struggled back and forth. I was starting to grow tiredfrom the constant fighting, but my determination hadn’t waned. With as muchenergy as I could muster, I pulled back, returning the blade to my control. Myshadow-self growled, but a shriek cut through the deep agitated reverberation.I immediately froze, recognizing the frightened sound and looked down to find Alenaon the ground, pulling at a lifeless body in front of her.

“She just ran in front of me…,” theasura’s voice tailed off as she stroked the full mane of black hair. “Sh-shesaved me.”

As Alena pulled the body closer toher, Ariella’s face tattoos came into view. I gasped, and my breath caught inmy throat. Everything in me seized up, and all I could do was stare at the norn’slifeless body as my shadow-self slowly pulled the blade from her back.

“What have you done?” I cried out asthe blade fell from my hands. “You killed her!”

The shadow rippled all around me, andmy counterpart’s face emerged again. Her eyes narrowed at me, intensified byher deep frown.

“IHAVE DONE EVERYTHING YOU WANTED. LOOK AROUND. I HAVE DESTROYED YOUR ENEMIES. CASUALTIESARE INEVITABLE. THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN LESS IF YOU WOULD NOT FIGHT ME.”

She had indeed destroyed most of ourenemies. The Inquest and hired fighters still left would soon be dealt witheither by my shadow-self or my friends. But no matter how many of our enemiesshe destroyed, it didn’t negate the fact she killed an innocent.

Our little deal was over.

“I should have never let it get thisfar,” I confessed, floating there in the dark. “You’re nothing but a tool, ameans to an end. You were never meant to be anyone’s master.”

My shadow-self’s eyes went wide andshe opened her mouth to speak, but I thrust my fist into her face before shecould utter a single syllable. The punch left her stunned. Violent waveserupted all around me as an inhumane wail filled the air. I took the moment ofopportunity to reach forward and take the blade back into my hands.

“You’re no longer in charge,” I said.

Maybe Seren was right. Maybe I didn’tneed the blade’s power to do this for me. It was a godly weapon, but still justa weapon. I kept pulling it toward me with everything I had until I had pried itfrom my shadow-self’s hands. Overcome with a sense of accomplishment, I cheeredand raised the blade over my head and brought the end of it down against theground. A heavy thud echoed throughout the courtyard, and the shadow fell away.I was free.

“Nienna, is that you?” Dee asked,eyeing me suspiciously. The norn slowly lowered her greatsword as she took afew hesitant steps forward.

I fell to my knees next to Ariella’sbody. The blade had already consumed the ribbons of her life force, and I couldfeel nothing from her when I placed a hand on her arm. She was so cold andhollow. I bowed my head as sorrow filled my heart for the norn who had said solittle but had done so much for us. Strengthening my resolve, I lifted my gazetoward Alena who recoiled from me. Her cheeks were stained with tears and shetried wiping them away with a trembling hand.

“It’s alright,” I tried to assure her.“Everything’s going to be-.”

The sound of an airship overheadpulled my attention upward, and I looked, expecting to find Danae’s ship, theRaven’s Reach. The ship’s body was all wrong and the sails were a differentcolor. It was also heading in from the east, not the south where we had lastseen Danae’s airship.

“Whose ship is that?” Salara asked,puzzled, as she followed my gaze up to the sky.

There was a loud bang as something launched from the ship above. Before I knew it, Iwas thrust upon my back on the ground with something heavy weighing down on mychest. I clawed at the strange metal harness that had become lodged around my torso,but my efforts yielded no results. I heard some of the others shuffle aroundquickly before another thunderous sound filled the air. I panicked, stillclawing at the contraption while keeping a firm hold on the blade. Suddenly, Ifelt a strange hum in the air. Dirt and ash became caught up in a circularmotion next to me as the ground began to exude a pale purple light. The portal overflowedwith illumination and then shattered, revealing a feminine form dressed inyards of impractical violet silk.

“I suppose we should be thanking youfor bring us what we’ve been looking for,” Lady Eira Byrne said, her wordssilvery and sweet as she flashed me a satisfied grin.